8 Ways To Put Anyone At Ease | Fast Company

8-ways-to-put-anyone-at-ease

Eight strategies for being more approachable and fine-tuning your communication skills. The 8 ways are:

  1. Pay Attention
  2. Adapt Your Style
  3. Be Empathetic
  4. Use Their Names
  5. Be Careful Using A Common Phrase
  6. Dig Deeper, But Not Too Deep
  7. Disclose Something About Yourself
  8. Avoid Going Overboard

Read the article for the details and see if any of these are a blind spot for you.

Source: 8 Ways To Put Anyone At Ease | Fast Company | Business + Innovation

[Photo: Flickr user WOCinTech Chat]

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do

In this video Tony Robbins challenges us to think about why we do what we do.  Decisions shape destiny.  Great section where Mr. Robbins, in a respectful and honest way, challenges former Vice President Al Gore on what are the defining factors in achievement.  You will feel challenged to be different and start now.

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do | Video on TED.com.

Power Poses – Feel More Confident Now

Can the way you hold your body or move, have measurable affects on how you feel?  Absolutely and Dr. Amy Cuddy has research to back it up.  Dr. Cuddy is social psychologist, teaches at the Harvard Business School, and studies our perceptions of others and how others influence us.

Fake it until you make it works and there is evidence to back it up as a useful strategy (for more details see “Power Postures Can Make You Feel More Powerful” (WIRED Science, May 15, 2012.)

The first video is a five minute overview and the second video is a 17 minute presentation about the idea that we can change our feelings about our own status by changing the positions of our bodies.


What do you think?

[Featured image courtesy of Flickr: Poptech]

How To Build Better Relationships On Your Team And In Your Life – Choose Your Response

Have you ever had someone react differently than you expected to something you said? We all have and there is something you can do about it.  Anthony Robbins says “The meaning of your communication is the response you get.”  If you don’t like the response you are getting, change your approach.  Okay but how and how do you not come off as a phony, a wimp or a suck-up?HighFive_240x150

A portion of Master Resilience Training is the way.  MRT is the third component of Comprehensive Soldier Fitness training developed by Martin E.P. Seligman.  The program trains drill sergeants on how to embrace resilience and pass on the knowledge.  MRT has three parts – building mental toughness, building signature strengths, and building strong relationships.

The building strong relationships section, based on the work of Shelly Gable, describes the four styles of responding to people:

  1. Active constructive (authentic, enthusiastic support)
  2. Passive constructive (laconic support, i.e. the use of few words expressing support)
  3. Passive destructive (ignoring the event)
  4. Active distributive (pointing out the negative aspects of the event)

Here is an example of basketball teammates.  Joe tells Sam, “Hey, I was selected as one of the co-captains.”

Active constructive – “That’s great. What else do you have to do as one of the captains? Has it been announced? What did the Coach say about why you deserved it?”

Passive constructive – “That’s nice.”

Passive destructive – “I saw a funny video online.  Look at this…”

Active destructive – “You know you don’t get anything extra for it and it will take up a lot of your fun time…”

Being mindful of your response style and working on having more responses that are active constructive, can improve how you are perceived.  You can be seen as being real and being nice.

[Image: Flickr user SashaW]

Building Resilience – Harvard Business Review

ResilienceTraining240x159_USArmyWhat makes one person grow from experiencing a trauma, another gets through it to be basically the same as they were before the trauma (resilience), and yet another fall apart?  Dr. Seligman shows how training can move people towards growth as the result of the trauma.  “These are the people of whom Friedrich Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

Dr. Seligman worked with the US Army to teach positive psychology through an initiative called “Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) and consists of three components: a test for psychological fitness, self-improvement courses available following the test, and “master resilience training” (MRT) for drill sergeants.  These are based on PERMA: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment—the building blocks of resilience and growth.”

One concern about the training was that it would be see as “touchy-feely” or “psychobabble” by hardened soldiers.  The initiative was extremely well received with participants giving the course a 4.9 out of 5 rating and a many say it is the best course they have ever had in the army.

Building Resilience, By Martin E.P. Seligman – Harvard Business Review, April 2011.

[Image: Flickr user familymwr]